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cp442
Hello, my name is cp442, and I'm a Jamerholic. ME3 screens:  You call this flirting? Get the hell out of my room, you flaccid-bosomed skank.  Here's Shep's introspective "I don't know how I can do this" look; don't worry Shep, you'll be destroyed on a molecular level soon enough.  Where's the garter so I can leave a tip?  Die, you poorly scripted series ruining ghastly demon cur, die!!!!!!!!!! (I was shooting when I took this screen, but missed the muzzle flash)  Barbie femShep, reporting for duty!  In this alternate ending DLC, femShep wakes up in a land of giants. Seriously, what's with the pillow scale?  Earning this badge means I had to experience the ending again. Now that's insanity.  My second favorite sniper rifle in the game, the Javelin. My pet name for it is "Gethtina". Since, you know, snipers have to name their guns.  Who's the cat that can one-hand a 50 pound rifle? John Shepard! Ya damn right.  **** Garrus, learn to melee already.  This krogan nail gun leaves Departed levels of exit wound splatter.  Here Shep's getting the news that his cat, Akuze, was killed in the initial Reaper attack on Earth. Now, it's personal.  Right now Shepard is wondering why his squadmates can't have normal feet. I mean, is that too much to ask?  If you look carefully, you'll see the path of the shot below the crosshair (which rose from recoil). The bullet passed through the wall, through the one geth's shields, and exploded the other geth behind it.  I don't think this Phantom will be twirling out of the way again.  Alright, when did Shep get body-builder hands? And his wrists are like cankles.  Shep needs a biopsy on that one large mole. I mean, he would if he had more than 2 hours to live.  Tali, I'm sorry... this isn't your homeworld. See all the Joshua trees? We're outside of Barstow. April Fools! Some Skyrim screens: My first character (on the left); generic Nord. In retrospect, he looks too much like the vintage Brawny paper towel guy for my liking.   Second character, Dunmer; I couldn't really make her pretty (no amount of Restylane or Juvederm in the world can help those dark elf eye-bags). so I went for creepy instead.   Screens from the game, King Arthur:         Gran Turismo 5 screens: Kart racing; I'm on the left, about to pass.  Me getting just a smidge too much air on the Eiger Nordwand track.  The 'ghini in Switzerland.  Lamborghini Murcielago Superveloce. Or something.  Kubelwagen in Tuscany at dusk:  Mercedes McLaren '09. For around $600,000, it damn well better look good.  Here's my nineteen fifty... something... Mercedes. When you have as much money as I do, you can't be bothered to remember the exact year your car was made.  I supercharged the ol' Kubelwagen, so it goes about 80 miles an hour now; I also gave it a nifty glossy Starlight Black paint job, as opposed to its factory color, Emotionless-German Matte Grey.  One of my favorites; a recent purchase, the Lotus Evora:  Various Mass Effect screens: Mass Effect 1 characters:      Mass Effect 2:        City of Heroes screens: This one's a pathetic ripoff of Harley Quinn:   This one's apparently a dominatrix armed with a mace that could, rather painfully, double as a sex toy perhaps (I've forgotten the names of these characters long ago):   Other Super Dominatrices:    Here's a ninja inexplicably paired with a jet pack:  And here, on the left, is what "normal" people's super heroines look like, next to mine. Evidently massive juggery and gaudy colors are all the rage.  Also, while I was going through my screens, here's a character from Age of Conan just for the hell of it:    On the above right pic, note how pathetic my armor looks next to the NPC's on the left; assassins can only wear cloth armor. Also note how slender my character is in comparison; I should have given her more muscle during setup, for it looks rather silly to see her puny arms flailing about in mortal combat as if they could really hurt something...  Rome: Total War instructional screens for DP: The double envelope; impossible to break completely, and it offers enough flexibility to swing out and flank the enemy if the opportunity presents itself. So the formation doubles either as a powerful defensive formation, or a deceptively immobile-looking trap.  Here in the second frame, the Romans have engaged my line; after locking them into combat, I place one of the reserves in front to bolster the outer line, while sending three units of the unengaged rear outer line to flank the enemy:  Battle aftermath. I rolled up the enemy infantry before my outer line, without breaking my inner line's formation. So, what you should take from this exercise is that a larger surface area is key to pike success; only a thin line of pikes (4-6 men deep) can keep many more enemy at bay. By contrast, excessively dense formations allow your army to be surrounded much more easily, thereby removing what little flexibility a pike army can utilize.  Silent Hunter III screens: Miscellaneous new screens: Here's a hunter-killer I ambushed. Let's see you depth charge your way out of that, mofo.  This is just me having a good ol' time:  Tankers are really fun to hit, for the following reason:  Here are some nurses wishing the boat a safe journey as it leaves port. Five of them will, in a few months, realize they're heavy with my offspring; my torpedo never misses, either at sea or on land...  Storm hunting; 300m visibility means you have to fire immediately upon seeing a target, or else the torpedoes won't have time to arm; also note the burning freighter hardly visible in the background:  The prime targets of any convoy are tankers; they're large, and tend to explode with only one well-placed torpedo. Here's an example of a somewhat rare tanker double-tap:  Deck gun firing (only possible on calm seas; used less often as the war progressed, due to constant air attacks):  The coup de grace delivered:  A torpedo solution sheet:  A trail of death (the red marks indicate ships sunk; 66,932 tons in this patrol):  How my character compares to historical U-boat aces (mine's on the very bottom of the page):  This is me stalking the harbor at Hartlepool, England; cue the "Jaws" music... now:  You know those movies where a motorcycle or a small car maneuvers beneath a tractor trailer? That's what I'm doing here; at the count of three, I had the crew lean to starboard all at once:  Here's a tanker breaking in half; there's a special kind of fun in splitting an 11,000 ton mass of steel asunder with one well-placed torpedo:  An explosive end to a freighter. If you look closely at the fireball at the center-left of the periscope crosshairs, you can discern a body flying from it. Nice and morbid attention to detail, Ubisoft.  This is me attacking a carrier group, in the middle of a heavy cruiser and destroyer screen (where the giant arrow's pointing, I'm about 14m beneath the surface); I actually need to get this close in order to ensure success, it's not a matter of showing off for the picture:  And these are torpedoes before the moment of impact...  ...during...  ...and after, when the fuel near the deck lights up:  Here's some flying seamen; "Weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!"  Here are some acoustic torpedoes finding a target; the faster a ship goes, the more noise it makes, so fleeing is futile:  Aftermath of impact in this case (a different carrier than the first one):  What happens when you don't get out of the area when you fire acoustic torpedoes (that's me in a type XXI on a different mission; when I realized they came back, I turned the engines off, but too late):  After sinking one carrier, an escort carrier, and crippling a third carrier and a tanker, I got some unwanted attention from some rather irritable destroyers. If you're into naval terms, the destroyer just "crossed my T" (though that's mostly a surface/battleship term). And if you're a U-boat captain, this is one of those Will Smith "aw, heyal no" moments:  Just like in the movie "Das Boot", after being savagely depthcharged, I rested softly on the ocean floor like so:  Unlike the movie, I wasn't able to get my batteries working, was a sitting duck, and imploded with the next attack. This shot isn't related to the others; I just don't like seagulls crapping on my nifty sonar-absorbing paintjob:  The end of the HMS Warspite in shallow Norwegian waters around Narvik; historically, she survived that battle. But this time, I made the difference...  A group of pictures; if this was a first-person shooter game, I'd call it the "Boom, headshot!" series:    The most beautiful sight for a captain to behold: two ships, four torpedoes, two strikes on each ship simultaneously. Attacking with a near-zero gyro-angle (how many degrees the torpedoes need to turn after fired) on calm seas helped greatly.  A tanker exploding after three torpedoes, at night:  The moon sinks behind another hapless freighter. Two torpedoes are already in the water, and will strike about the time indicated by the red mark on the stopwatch; in this case, 37 seconds remain before the ship's crew feels a rude jolt or two.  Rome: Total War screens: Perfect victory (the three losses were friendly fire, as my formation was tightly packed):  A new set of pictures, this time with "detailed" explanations written into them!   New battle, all of pikemen. They almost... almost broke me.  Check out the initial army sizes. Proof that my pike use is superior to AI.  More, extremely detailed proof; also, there are two things worth noting: DP, look at the casualties healed section; also, look at how useless my artillery was. They were firing at slow-marching, dense enemy spear formations, and still inflicted minimal casualties!  Here's an example of a strong forward line with a weak flank; the enemy AI deftly used its cavalry to obliterate the one group of pikemen and two skirmisher units I left as a rearguard. Needless to say, I lost this battle.  I improved my formation the following way; the success of this condensed design can be seen in the next screenshot.  After the battle; note the wall of enemy dead piled before my pikemen, and how there are no dead within the formation.  This should read "CP IS GR8" (unit limitations preclude a longer message)  Dragon Age and Fallout 3 character shots: Phaedra   Circe   Lilya  Arminius  Beren  An elf, Mirya  A dwarf, Natia   Another elf, Niniel  Various Oblivion characters:      A simulated life, in screencaps:  Here's a picture of Sim-me honing my Spanish guitar skills (Note: my nipples were burned off in an ATV explosion as a child, hence their rather airbrushed appearance...)  Here's me when I was going through my biker/surfer phase.  Here's a picture of my punk-Goth-rocker ex-Sim-wife.  Here's another ex; she was a... self-employed businesswoman.  Don't even bother asking about this one...  Here's me showing off my impeccable social skills; the chemistry between us is palpable, as you can tell.  Sim-wife #8  Current Sim-wife (evolutionary Sim-perfection)  "Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me..."  And lastly, here's us with the brood; we started young, and they were quadruplets... My Scottish Red Badge of Courage, awarded by the Honourable JohnnyScott  -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- MY VITALS Occupation: Professional Wiki Moderator Home town: Nowhere Location: Everywhere MORE ABOUT ME... I joined this wiki because: It's all the rage with the kids today. The best word to describe me is: Neurotic. Interests: Too few and too boring to list. Favorite movies: Lord of the Rings is one of the few movies I can watch more than once, so I suppose that constitutes as a favorite. Favorite TV shows: TSCC My hero(es): Myself (someday...) My superpower is: Keen observational skill If I could live anywhere, it would be: A small estate in the English countryside. My dream job(s): Galactic Despot What else you should know about me: I'm garrulous, capricious, cold, and needy. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- SAY HELLO! Leave me a comment below, or send me a private message or compliment!
Latest page update: Mar 28 2012, 7:49 PM EDT
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